What is perfect and when did we decide that it was something to strive for and only when we get there will we be truly happy??
Honestly, the more I learn and absorb and expand, the more I realise ‘perfect’ is a load of b.s!! No one is perfect. Ever.
Life by definition is messy, and that’s just how it’s supposed to be. Without the messy less than perfect moments we wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the times of happiness, joy and success.
Just because an air brushed image of a person in a magazine looks like they are perfect in every way. It doesn’t mean that’s what the look like in real life. Just because a person looks like they have a perfect life or the perfect career on instagram, doesn’t mean that they do.
So deciding that you want ‘this persons’ body, or ‘this persons’ career and success, is a fruitless pursuit. You cannot achieve what they have done because you aren’t them. You can only achieve your own results in your own way!
Don’t chase perfection, chase Happiness!
Not only that, but chasing after perfection is a race you will never win. Perfection just isn’t achievable, so saying I will be happy when I get to this or that, it’s just leaving you spending a lot of time being unhappy.
The irony being everyone’s idea of perfection is different. Perfection is subjective. But we all seem get caught up in this misconception that we have to look, act, and be a certain way.
Striving to better yourself, to learn, to be a happier, kinder, healthier, stronger human being. There is nothing wrong with that. That’s how we expand and grow.
But striving for some unattainable level of perfection. Physical or otherwise. That’s not healthy for your mind or body, (or soul for that matter) and it’s not what we are here to spend our lives doing!
That day that you spent with friends and family when you didn’t care what you looked like, when you ate good food, laughed, played, watched the sunset, counted the stars… that’s perfect.
Going to bed with messy hair, a heart full of love and a mind full of happy memories. That’s the happiness you feel from ‘perfection ‘.
So next time you catch yourself thinking “If only I”… lost a few more pounds, or got this haircut, or that car, or earned a bit more…
Those things don’t bring you happiness! They only make you miserable, and they don’t lead to perfection.
Ask yourself why you have that thought, where did it come from, what triggered it…
What to do when negative thoughts creep in
For me this falls into mindfulness. Be mindful of your thoughts and what you consume. Magazines, instagram, there are all sorts of ways to get caught up in the misconception that there is only one way to be or one way to achieve things.
It’s just not true.
If you can catch yourself when you notice these thoughts creeping in and consciously change that thought. Consciously start to remove what is causing you to think that way you will start to feel so much lighter and freeer.
The constant beating yourself up for not being this perfect person all the time can be so destructive. Is destructive.
You are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. You are completely unique, the only being like you on the planet. The only one that looks, feels, and thinks like you.
I have to keep reminding myself of this. Every single day.
I cannot do life at 100 miles an hour. I have to choose carefully what I spend my energy on each day. I get frustrated and disheartened that I can’t, and haven’t achieved as much as I’d like.
I’m still working on being ok with a slower pace of life. With achieving things at my own pace, and listening to my body when it needs me to rest. It isn’t easy. I constantly question if I’m ‘just being lazy’. Even when I know I’m not.
But the work all day, busy = success, way of life that society tells us we need to have. It doesn’t work for everyone and why should it have to. I don’t want to be the person that fits neatly into a box, conforms, and follows the herd.
Make mindfulness part of your every day
I guess for me mindfulness is all about taking a step back. Giving yourself time to process tour feelings and emotions and where they come from, and then processing them. Learning to recognise negative thoughts and actions, things that aren’t good for you and getting into the habit of processing then and letting them go. Rather than letting them start a downward spiral.
Give yourself the space to take action from an informed perspective, instead of just reacting without thinking.
Once you can do this and it becomes a habit. All that outward noise, it won’t seem so overwhelming and it won’t have such a negative impact.
Next time you start berating yourself. Try this mindful technique and see how it makes you feel.
P.s. Once mindfulness becomes a habit. Part of your daily routine. Your mindful practice should trickle through into all parts of your life from your clothes to the food you consume and everything in between, not just you thoughts and your mind.